Life embrace...

I love it when refs 

Make emphatic calls

And when umpires pounce

Atop strikes and balls

The energy they bring

Parallels that of the athletes

Reminding me once more

We're all running the same meets 

We all play a part

In this world, often called stage

But its the enthusiasm we impart 

When with others, we engage

That brings us joy

And replete satisfaction 

Of societal intercourse

And meaningful interaction 

Thus with pride we perform 

In our daily masquerade 

Enjoying cerebral platform 

While mastering our trade 

For one thing I notice 

In the "real world" I see

Its like the embracers of life

That I yearn to be 

Escaping addiction...

I have a problem

Actually, I have several 

Smoking 

Drinking

Gambling and

Thinking 

These are my addictions 

That whisk me away from reality

If only for a moment

That I stretch into days at a time

It seems that every time

Responsibility beckons

I find an excuse 

To embrace my addictions

Trying to escape

My human existence 

But when I come down from my high

And find my way back to reality 

Nothing has changed 

My duties are still waiting 

For my attention 

I find myself scared

Worried 

Frustrated 

And a mess 

Unsure where to start 

As my cool loses out to stress 

I turn back to my addictions

Thinking one last rush 

Before I attend to my chores

Would do me good 

And calm my nerves

But one becomes two

Which becomes infinitely more 

And the next thing I know 

I'm back to the drawing board

Except each time I come down 

I think, "Shit man, great"

With sarcastic undertones 

As I spy the pile's grown on my plate

My escapes from reality, I realize 

Do nothing more than delay the inevitable

But leave me more stressed than before

And yet each time I understand this 

I reach for my addictions once more

Bewildered yet lacking control 

I'm a slave to escapism 

And recovering on the bathroom floor

Fighting distractions...

There's nothing like a good flight

To get my blood flowing 

And remind me that I'm still alive

As a child, this search for meaning

Was attributed to simple boredom 

And too much energy locked up inside 

But that view came from up above

From guidance and love

Hoping I wasn't just some miscreant 

Down came orders and rules

Intended to curb my fuel

Thinking I needed some discipline 

But as I rose through the ranks

And was forced to give thanks 

I created new arenas of battle

Not with hands or toys 

Did I fight other boys 

But instead with oratory paddle 

I thought it was the rush of the cage

And a hint of my rage

That brought me primal satisfaction

But truth be told

In my years, now old 

I realize it was simple human interaction

That a fight and a scuffle

Or an intellectual tussle 

Could serve as simple distraction 

Caging angst...

Every now and then I have one of those days

Where nothing seems to go the way I'd planned 

In the past, these days would lead me to frustration 

I'd act out, hoping a hand would come 

And guide me through the storm 

But it seems these days are different 

Rather than getting all riled up and angry

I simply find myself sighing

Resigned to the fact that some things

Are just out of my control 

I don't act act in response

But instead find my emotions burning

And my frustrations inwardly mounting

Thus it seems that I've matured 

And learned to deal with adversity

But have I?

Simply because I keep much of my angst within?

Because it seems to me

Judging, at least, by the temperature 

From the boil within

That I'm just as affected as ever

That despite a newly discovered ability 

To keep my emotions caged

I'm still the same kid 

Looking for a hand to guide me 

Maybe this is maturity 

Learning to shut the hell up

While taking the bad in stride

Heavenly blessing...

Damn, I just got hit with a doozie 

Blew me right out of the water

An old friend, confidant and lover

Pregnant, soon with son or daughter 

It's a shock to my system 

But not one of jealousy 

More like fingers snapping

Jolting me back to reality 

It's not our grinding 

But real life timing

That contorts our earthly course

Bringing new life, shining 

Heaven blessed, divining 

Our next step through the door

Yes, our actions play parts

Coupled with feelings of hearts

And things always beyond our control 

But should fate intervene 

Pushing destiny unseen 

New virtues, we should extol  

For though I have plans

I am simply a man

Unable to reign in the stars

News of heaven's hand

Touching a great friend 

Brings consciousness to my prison bars

For I am not locked in isolation 

But there's a whole world left unchecked

And though I am not without destination 

The forks in the road, I must respect 

Reality comes at its own choosing

So I must bow down and honor the new things

So to my dear old friend 

Whose memory will never fade 

May God bless the fruit of your womb

And bring great joy to the reality you've made

I pray that all will turn out well

In reality that suddenly snuck

You're a wonderful girl in a hell of a world 

And I wish you the best of luck!

Congrats L! 

The ideal fuse...

I stared out through my window frame

Hoping, dreaming, wondering her name 

The rain clouds lifted 

The sun shone in

At once thoughts drifted 

Her heart I'd win!

Through intricate prose 

Or simple repose 

Our paths would meet

Becoming one and the same

But first, dear muse

A hint of her name?

I apologize friend 

For though I tickle imagination 

Things like Ms. Wifey

Are beyond my contemplation 

Sure, I could create an elaborate trait 

That would have you flipping heals 

But the truth of the matter 

Is that fiction is sadder

When you find out a character ain't real 

I bucked up in my chair

And was suddenly aware

That my muse had rejected my plea

To envision a goddess

Nay, an angel more modest 

So I asked, "Why won't you help me?"

Oh, dear dreamer 

You're always the schemer 

Hustling for the ends you seek

But you must understand 

That when it comes to woman and man

Reality is the mountain's peak 

If you create perfection 

Via internal reflection 

You'll find yourself unsatisfied with what's really out there

But if you clear your mind 

From benchmarks, you'll find

A world full maidens quite beautiful and fair 

My head began nodding

For I understood the muse

The answer I was prodding 

Came in a range of hues 

But if I focused on one image

The right one I might lose

For hidden among the masses 

Was the unknown, but ideal fuse. 

Vintage opinions...

If human experience has taught me anything 

It is that everyone has an opinion 

And every opinion is different 

Some are naive, passive, and innocent 

While others seem down right belligerent 

But every opinion that finds itself thrust in my direction 

Be it aggressive, manipulative, or via subtle inflection

Is said by a voice 

So unique in its course

That its understanding of my situation 

From its speaker is divorced 

For each does his own thing

And in his own time

Clumsily wandering

With his own type of rhyme 

And yes, sometimes I appreciate 

The eyes of another's journey 

But please don't be offended 

If I submit not to your mean 

 

Be not mistaken

I've listened to what you've said

Swished it around mentally

With the snifter in my head

Went back to the drawing board

Envisioning the perfect image 

Not drunk by all humanity

But of my own personal vintage

And what I've found to be most tasteful 

What really whets my palate 

Is making my own choices 

And believing they are valid 

For my life is my own

And I must do what is best

To satisfy my thoughts 

And heed not the rest

Because it seems unlikely 

That there is a guide to this game

Sheer reason and logic

Tell me no two wines taste the same 

The afternoon lull...

Sitting 

Digesting

Not thinking

Just resting

Staring 

Surfing

Tweeting

Posting

Reading

Watching

Chatting

Laughing 

Clicking

Clicking

Clicking 

The boredom away.

Awaiting instruction 

Wanting mental obstruction 

Anticipating the close of day.

Rising 

Walking

Winking 

Talking

Planning 

The happy hour getaway.

Done meandering

Now pandering

Fulfilling 

The boss's whimsical need.

Composing

Exceling 

Saving 

Reviewing 

Printing

Sending

Filing

Feeling like chores indeed.

Sneaking 

Peeking

Urging

Hurrying

The ticking clock.

One by one 

Seconds passing 

Feigning action 

Finally leaving 

Time to get drunk.

At the moment...

Time is dimension I often misunderstand 

In the great scheme of life

It never varies its course

Despite my constantly varying assessment 

Of its true value   

When I was a child

Every day was a unique experience

Because each day was new and grand

I was innocent and naive 

Carefree and rambunctious 

Making the most of every waking second

But as I grew older

And each new day

Became a smaller snippet 

Of my greater experience 

I began to lose track 

Of the value of any given moment

Days blended together

As I got caught up in myself 

And lost track of the ticking clock

Of the bigger picture

Of the marathon ahead 

And lessons gained from time spent

My inward orientation  

Left perspective by the wayside 

As years quickly passed

With frustration and impatience 

Nurtured at the hand 

Of my juvenile observations

Now I find myself 

Seemingly starting anew

Yet time has gone unchallenged 

Leaving me a quarter of the way through

Yearning for the innocence of days past

Dreaming of grandeur in the days ahead 

Forgetting still, of the present moment 

I must slow down!

And appreciate today

Maximizing each second

For the benefit of the next

For I now realize

That if I rush the race

And focus only on the end

Then time will fly by 

Without my knowing 

Frustrated waiting...

It is frustrating to have to wait for others

When I'm already geared to go

It makes my day feel infinitely longer

In a manner that's unnecessarily slow

I've been taught to have patience 

Because each works at his own pace

But I've got a sneaky suspicion 

That many simply waste their days

Expecting me to wait

With a smile on my face

And chillness in my gait

I try to hide my personal indignation 

And chalk up my impatience 

To personal frustrations 

But my gut reaction 

Whose honesty I try to hide

When the truth it hints 

Is that I'm being taken for a ride

They say wait, hold on, have a seat

The process is delicate 

We must take our time

You know Rome wasn't built in a day

I sigh sure, if you must, go ahead

Put me on your queue 

I'll just twiddle my thumbs

Cause I know you'll get to me someday 

But the reality is

I'm afraid

That its hard to motivate others

When they've one foot in the grave

At least, that is

If you hear them tell it

Because one thing's for sure

They try their hardest to sell it

That life is tough 

And they're doing their best

That they've had enough 

And need a minute to rest 

But what about me

And the tasks that lie ahead

Do I sit here idly 

And take stock in what they've said

Delaying my own chores

Despite being willing and able

Waiting for the others 

So I can finally put food on my table

Damn the frustration 

I never know how to handle it 

Inwardly I'm off-the walls 

But outwardly I must mantle it 

And sit patiently waiting 

And realize that things are out my control

And sometimes life is frustrating