Stepping inside...

Sometimes I need to critique myself

Because life is a work in progress. 

I reach to the edge and gather my info

And then I hold internal Congress.

Have you lived up to your talents

And remained true to yourself?

I think so, Mr. inquisitor. 

I acquired a heap of wealth, 

Of the world's workings, 

The course of man, 

And the inner modes of stealth. 

Oh silly child, 

Living within yourself, 

You've missed the point of my question;

Have you a bill of health?

Of personal growth, 

And rising once falling;

Of spiritual strength, 

And heading your calling?

Have you done the things necessary 

To develop and nurture;

Or do you merely rest on your laurels 

And throw wind to your future?

I was thrown back at once,

As his words struck a chord. 

Was I merely a pawn

Of the complacency I abhorred?

Had my singular voice

Been so long unopposed,

That I'd become unchallenged

Leaving my future exposed?

I gathered my courage,

And to the inquisitor I replied:

Unfortunately, sir, 

We both know what's inside.

I've become content with the moment

And lost sight of momentum; 

I've forced friends to the ledge 

So that I could resent them.

I've lost track of my vision, 

My dreams, and my wishes; 

Settling instead for derision 

And fury quite vicious. 

So what I am to do?

The answer is simple, 

Just step back into you. 

I looked at my judge 

And felt somewhat confused

Was it really that simple

Or was this merely a ruse?

Before I could respond,

The inquisitor continued:

I can see on your eyes, 

And your brows that have sinewed; 

That you are not convinced. 

The most that I can elaborate 

Is that the answer lies within.

It never leaves you, 

But always changes.

Its the innocence you once new,

That matured to fit the ranges, 

Of life's opportunities, 

Of your natural talents, 

Of all the things that were possible,

When you attacked with voracious youth.

 

Growing up doesn't make it disappear. 

Only your internal battle,

Can push it to the rear,

Out beyond where you can find it,

As you doubt yourself, 

And say, "Shit, man, I'm grindin' ."

I stood and I laughed,

For I now understood,

That the will within me,

Always yielded something good.